HAIL THE NEW AMERICAN IDOL-JORDIN SPARKS!!!!!

wohoooo~~!!!! Jordin Sparks is the American Idol 2007!!! YYeeesss!!! She is really a fantastic singer!!

Last nite when I heard her last song 'This Is My Now', I was really being swept away by her touching voice! At that moment, I knew that she will be the next American Idol!! Wow!! She is really awesome!! Great singer she is! And very young!! 17th only leh! Same age as my brother! Imagine that!

Her winning song-'This Is My Now', the lyrics indeed touched my heart.

This song was written for the American Idol Songwriter’s Competition, Scott Krippayne and Jeff Peabody came together to compose this very unique song. To be recorded by the next American Idol, Peabody had to say:

“I’m looking forward to being able to download one of my songs,” says Peabody, a church pastor who wrote the song with Scott Krippayne, a member of his New Day Church congregation. “It’s just very surreal. Something that was just an idea a few weeks ago has blossomed into this huge thing.”

Now here, is the song~

<This Is My Now>
There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself

There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I'd reached the end
Baby that was then
I am made of more than my yesterdays

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment
As I looked around
I can't believe the love I see
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts
That was then, this is my now

Had to decide
was I going to play it safe
or look somewhere deep in inside
try to turn the tide
and find the strength to take that step of faith

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment
As I look around I can't believe the love I see
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts
That was then, this is my now

And I have the courage like never before, yeah
I've settled for less but I'm ready for more
Ready for more

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment
I look around I can't believe the love I see
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts
That was then, this is my now

I am breathing in the moment
As I look around
Can't believe the love I see
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts
That was then
This is my now
This is my now

P/S: Thank you Lord, for inspiring the people who wrote this song. I've learned a great lesson from the song.

I packed my dreams away when you tried me, hide myself in my own world, trying to avoid you and the things that I used to love. And I used to be so afraid, afraid that I might be hurt or being disappointed again, and I really thought that I have already reached the end of my journey serving you.

But you have let me see your plans. I am made more than my yesterdays. You gave me strength to carry on, and You casted all my fears, shadows and doubts away. You helped me in search of love and to part-take in the step of renewing my faith.

Now, I'm picking up the courage. I've settled for less, but I'm ready for more. This is my now. Thank you Lord!!

时间巴士

今天，我在我朋友的部落里读到了一篇非常感动的文章，想与大家分享！

它叫做－《时间巴士》

『时间巴士曾带我到绿油油的快乐草地，也到达过凹凸不平的山区小路。
路途中我都会感受到，与先下车的亲人分离的伤心。
路途中我都会感受到，达成目标成功的喜悦。
路途中。。。我也会感受到，失败挫折的失落。
但我还是要继续往未来前进，因为时间巴士不会为我而停下。』


这，只是那文章的一小段。不过，却句句诉说出我的心事。好真的一篇文章！！！！身为读者的我，不禁对着这文章而痛思一番。

日前，我因为一件小小的挫折，而变得自暴自弃。现在，回想起来，真的有一点的愚蠢。

人生的路，就有如这巴士走的那段路，一定有凹凸不平。在路程上，我一定会感受到与亲人的分离伤心，达成目标的喜悦还有失败挫折的失落感！ 我好苯！！！这么简单的一个人生道理，我都不明白,成天沉睡在自己的堕落里。心里一直以为一时的失败，会是永远的失败。一点点的挫折，将它视为一个永不可翻身的理由。

原来，我是一位那么没有远见的糊涂少女！ 一点的挫折都担当不起！！还说在未来要当什么女强人！！！天啊！！！！我的这些梦想还遥不可及！！！！心里素质还不够班啊！！！

话说回来，其实我也明白，在人生的道路上，我难免会遇到一些挫折。有些挫折，是为了要我好。所以，我决定勇敢地面对我那丑陋的一面，好好地战胜它！！！！！我，一定得将它打败！！否者，我在未来的人生道路上，别说要成为女强人吧，我看连面对生活上的小小问题都是种麻烦！！！

王晓薇，你好好地加油吧！！！！！别让自己看不起你自己！！！！积极地面对人生的一切吧！！！！ 干巴爹！！！！！

New Hair Colour!!!!!!!

Guess wat guys??? Mary has a new hair colour!!!! Yeah!!!

I reached the saloon at 1pm where the jie jie asked me to choose the colour I wanted to dye from a colour pallet. I wanted something like reddish brown hair colour. So, she introduced me a lighter version of it. At first I kinda resisted because I don't want it to turn out like an 'ah lian', but after some advises from her, I decided to follow.

Sitting on the chair with the hair dye spreading on my whole head was rather enjoying but irritating. Enjoy is because my head felt cool~~~ Irritating is because I can't stand sitting there for an hour!! Still, I managed to pull through.

As I was sitting on the chair waiting for the colour to be absorbed by my hair, I can't help myself but to look into the mirror to check out my hair colour. It looked really bright and I was so afraid that I will become a fake 'ah lian' after I washed my hair. So, I kept on asking the jie jie what will my hair be like. Will it be too bright???? She said no!!! It won't!! Cz my original hair colour is too dark that even with this bright colour I won't look too 'ah lian' In fact, the colour won't be too outstanding. Sure enough, after I rinsed my hair, it looked like it hasn't been dyed. My hair colour can only be seen unless it is directly under the sun. From far, you can't really spot the differences.

This is what I had planned!! A hair colour which can be seen at day but can slightly be seen at night!!! Phew~~ Luckily my mum and granny kinda liked it!!! In fact, me too!!!! Now, I just have to wait for another 2 days to wash my hair, so that the colour will last. Can't wait to shock my friends with my new hair look!!! haha!!!

MMMEEERRRRDDDDDEEEEEKKKKKAAAA!!!!!!!!

OK FOLKS!!! GUESS WAT???? I'M ALIVE TO ANNOUNCE-MMEERRDDEEKKAA!!!!! After a week of non-stop exams, I've finally finished all my course papers!!!! Yeah!!!! (though I still have French paper, but who cares!) Here is a summary of my perfotmace during my exams....ehemehem....!!! Get ready 4 da truth!

1st paper....Advanced Management English
Was rather crappy cz I donno wat 2 write for my 'darkness'. Founded out that actually Zheng Xian DID STUDY for literature and has plenty of tips for it. Too bad I din even knew he studied..If not, I think I would have scored.

2nd paper....MA!!!
PPl say I looked like my MA lecturer but in mind, I don't think so! If I were like her, I won't be leaving the hall cursing my MA paper rite? My cash budget was a disaster!!! Other than tat was still ok.

3rd paper-Finance (????)
Finance...the minute I looked at my notes I felt like falling asleep on it because it is sooooo BORING and FULL WITH FORMULAS!!!!! I hate dead subject with a lot to remember!!! The paper wasn't as hard as I thought. It was just ok 4 me. Hopefully I can score a pass on this paper.

4th paper aka THE HELL OF ACCOUNTING!!!!-FAR1
Like the name, hell is what we have to go through while studying this subject. It is the most fearsome subject for me and all I hope is nt to repeat my mistake in trimester 1 in my Fundamentals of Accounting paper. True by itself, it came out some questions which looked familiar but I still couldn't make any of my answers correct. When I finished the paper, I felt nothing and I really don't wanna care about it. We were 'ba' d!

5th paper-Macroecons!!!
Walau....I slept for only 2 hours leh!~~When that questions came out, I couldn't answer because what I've studied in the textbook couldn't be used to answer them. Die lor wa sommore. Tembak here tembak there my answers and try to make it sound normal to gain some marks!!! Hopefully the lecturer understands all my theories.

6th paper- French (nt yet!!!)
haha....this paper I haven't sit for it but I don really care cause it's kinda an easy paper for me!! As long that I used up my 5 days to study I don think it's much of a prob!!!

ok!! Tat's all for my Beta 3rd Trimester Finals!!! Time to say 'tata' and enjoy my holidays!!!~~ Lalalalalala~~~~

I wanna heal!! I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong!!!!

OK folks!! Here goes. I have finally see my mistakes and how it hurt me most of the time!!! I just feel like I wanna find back the real me. I mean- THE REAL LOVING ME!!!!! Like the song 'Amazing Grace', I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see. Yep, I see all my darkness! All I want now is just forgiveness and a chance to prove myself that I still do love you all!!!! I really mean it!!! Please give me a chance to prove that I do. I WANNA HEAL, FEEL AND FIND A PLACE I REALLY BELONG!!!!

This song does comes from the bottom of me heart!!!!

<>
(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all to find
That I am not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That's it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what I am)
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way everybody is looking at me'
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I WILL NEVER KNEW MYSELF UNTIL I DO THIS ON MY OWN
AND I WILL NEVER FEEL ANYTHING ELSE UNTIL MY WOUNDS ARE HEALED
I WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING TILL I BREAK AWAY FROM ME
I WILL BREAK AWAY, I'LL FIND MYSELF TODAY

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I WANNA HEAL, I WANNA FEEL LIKE I'M SOMEWHERE I BELONG!!!!!!!
I WANNA HEAL, I WANNA FEEL LIKE I'M SOMEWHERE I BELONG!!!!!!!
SOMEWHERE I BELONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我该放开了

挣扎了这么久，也想了这么久。。。。我终于也想开了。 老天爷，你说在打击中，您都可以带给我们利益和希望。我求求你。。。。。。带我脱离这个苦海，可以吗？？？我在你眼中的未来，还有希望吗？？？求你，在黑暗中带给我希望。谢谢。

Broken, yet fixed

I am broken, yet fixed! I have lost my way while trying to serve You. I seek fame and glory while all You wanted from me was just a sincere heart. A heart of kindness, love, humble and generous. I have failed....I have totally been blinded from all fame and glory. His righteousness saw my weakness and decided to pull me back to the right path.

I have gone astray while serving him. Why Lord have I become another person which I don't even know? Have I deceived myself? Have I deceived You???? I once longed to serve You whole heartedly without asking for reward and cost. Now, I started to become so selfish that I felt I am becoming more and more evil. I have lost Oh Lord....forgive me....for I don't know what have I done. I have lost all my love, humble, kindness and generosity....and now...I have nothing!!! I have lost the will to serve You....I am broken....felt like I am now in pieces....But, I knew if I wasn't into pieces....I will never see the scary self of mine....Now that I am aware of it....I felt afraid. I am afraid that You will abandon me and left me alone in pieces....Please don't let me die Oh Lord!!! I still want to serve You!!!! Tell me how???How can I get well again????When??? I have nothing left already!!!!

The pieces are broken, yet fixed!

A song of mine during times of despair

I was lost, despair, weak and don't know which way to go. Just when I thought of giving up all the talents that God has given me in serving him, I noticed I was wrong! He wanted me to see my weakness in me before I fall deeper into sin! Therefore, he sent me Rachel (my best friend) to help me to wake me up from my dreams and saved me!!!

This song was sung by Carrie Underwood in the Idols Gives Back last week. After hearing this song, I felt so touched by God's love in my life. How He had wanted to just stand by me in my daily lives and prevent me from falling-falling into deep sin. Thank you Lord. I praise Your most holy name with this song-'I'll Stand By You'.

Imagine that God is speaking to us through this song...it makes the whole song alive!!! Alleluia!!!

Oh, why you look so sad,
Tears are in your eyes,
Come on and come to me now.

And don't be ashamed to cry,
Let me see you through,
'Cause I've seen the dark side too.

When the night falls on you,
You don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less.

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
Won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad, get mad;
Don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.

And hey,
What you got to hide?
I get angry too,
Well, I'm a lot like you.

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along,
'Cause even if you're wrong,

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
Won't let nobody hurt you.

I'll stand by you,
Take me in into your darkest hour,
And I'll never desert you,
I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you, baby,
You're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own.

'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
Won't let nobody hurt you.

I'll stand by you,
Take me in into your darkest hour,
And I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
(repeat and fade)